The Elizabeth doctor

The Bing and I have an imaginary friend. She started long ago, when BB was very small. BB would have these odd, looooong tantrums 45-90 minutes. They would begin the usual way, when she was angry about some baby or toddler injustice. But then they morphed and the reason seemed lost. In fact, BB seemed lost. She’d scream, cry and any typical consequence for such rotten behavior seemed ludicrous. Attempting to comfort the lost girl was also no use. Over time, I found two things that were helpful in bringing her back. One was to turn on any her favorite Signing Time DVDs. The music seemed to reach in and pull her out. Another way was to talk about her, but not to her, in front of her. I would talk to one of the cats, quietly and calmly.

Nicky, she’s okay. BB is really mad right now, so she’s crying. But she’s okay and soon she’ll stop crying and talk to us.

But sometimes there wasn’t a cat around, but this way of talking about her being okay, but not directly to her, seemed to help. So, one time I picked up a toy phone and had the same conversation on the phone, just like with Nicky. It worked.

After several times of this, BB would hand me the phone, when she was calm, and I’d talk to our friend, often about BB. I’d talk about our day, about how a BB was doing,… anything really. Sometimes BB would talk on the phone too. One day I asked BB if this person on the phone had a name.


she said


Elizabeth Doctor.

Doctor Elizabeth?

I wondered.

No, Elizabeth Doctor.

And so she is.
We still call her. No more emergency calls over tantrums, these days. I still give updates on BB, but we also check in on her. More often than not, she’s traveling. Recently she was on a long flight, from Australia, I think, but there were no bathrooms on board. Luckily she made it home, though I’m not sure where she lives. She never says and BB is careful not to have her visit. We keep her on the phone. Happily, we keep checking in. I wonder how long this friendship will continue?


2 Responses

  1. Wow. Your instincts and intuitiveness are inspiring. What an amazing mom you are with one very amazing kiddo. And I had no idea you were still blogging! Lost touch… 🙂

  2. I don’t know either but I think that is great. What works and makes sense with our kids sometimes doens’t make sense to us but it doesn’t have to.

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