Black, white, and a little bit grey

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This Memorial Day weekend has been interesting.  BB and I have been busy with parks and movies and very complex discussions for a 4-year-old.  Her favorite movie of the weekend has been The Sound of Music and it’s themes have been weaving in and out of our talks all weekend.  I’ve been attempting to explain about soldiers who follow a bad man named Adolf Hitler and the good soldiers she saw in the Memorial Day parade.  Some of those soldiers (I didn’t explain veterans) fought Adolf Hitler and his soldiers, I told her.  I’m explaining the bad flag with the swastika and the good American flag, which she just got and is so proud of.  I explained how they are symbols representing things, places, people and ideas.  She had so many questions and it led us places I never expected to go with her, at four.  It led us to the black, the white, the grey.  We talked about how people can be faced with terrible choices and might choose to join, fight, or run from badness.  We talked about how good people might follow a bad man out of fear for themselves or because they want to look like a man (Rolfe).   She reminded me that soldiers can be women (she saw them in the parade).  We talked about just because you don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean they are bad (like Hitler thought of the Jews and anyone who disagreed with him).  It is okay to disagree with someone, but that doesn’t mean they are bad.  It is only bad if you hurt people, like Hitler did (I didn’t go into details).  BB thought of something:

BB: Miss L (her teacher) says we are all friends (in her class), but we aren’t.

Me: (Smiling, as Hubs and I have long been annoyed by BB’s school’s “policy” of the teachers referring to the students as all friends.  They say the children are all each other’s friends and they are friends of the teachers). You choose your own friends, don’t you?

BB: Yes.

Me: You don’t agree with Miss L about that, do you?

BB: No.

Me: That’s okay.  Miss L is still a good person and has many things to teach you (and thinking about the amazing lesson wrapped up in all of this).  You disagree with Mommy and Daddy sometimes too.

BB: Yes, and sometimes you disagree with me.

Me:  Yeah.  That’s okay.  Sometimes we think differently.

BB: Sometimes I get mad and hit.

Me: Yes; you are working on that.  Do we ever hit you?

BB: No.  Can I watch TV now?

That’s how it’s been this weekend.  Parks, friends, movies at home, interwoven with these talks about how people are different, how that’s okay, but we treat each other well anyway.  She does seem understand that she chooses her friends, but should treat everyone well, even if they aren’t her friends.  It’s just the right thing to do.


2 Responses

  1. BB definitely appears to be getting taller. It could be the angle in the pix but it looks like she just shot up overnight!

  2. They all are growing in so many ways, aren’t they.

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