Adoption Paradigms

I just finished reading this post, Adoption Paradigms, by Claudia at My Fascinating Life, (thanks for the tip, Tonggu Momma).  It sums up very nicely, why the arguments between those in the adoption triad (bio moms, adoptees, and adoptive parents) happen.  I’m not going to try to explain it.  You can read it for yourself.


3 Responses

  1. Okay…. I did just read it! And now I’m thinking!! (<- notice the extra exclamation mark!)
    From my experience as an "adoptee"….well, I never looked at it as an "experience" before BB was coming along. Sometimes I thought about adoption and what it had to do with my life but I suspect it was always far more fascinating to others than it was to me. I mean, I've known no other life than being an "adoptee".
    The big difference, I just realized, is that I shared the same general characteristics as my adoptive parents so no outsider looking at me as a child knew immediately to label me "adopted".
    And still, to me, adopted and biological do not have the wide gap of difference that others seem to see.

    • I suspect the similarity in your appearance to that of your adoptive parents did make adoption less of an issue for you than it is for international and interracial adoptees, which is who I read about most, for obvious reasons.

  2. I found your blog because you left a comment at the Korean-Adoption blog. This post really touches me because I was adopted and look nothing like my parents. I’m 29 years old and my 60+ year old father is Caucasian, and anytime the two of us are out in public I worry about what others think, if they think I’m someone he picked up or if I’m a gold-digger. It’s weird how being a young Asian woman makes you have to feel ashamed about yourself just for being out with your father, when others stare and whisper. It’s especially uncomfortable at restaurants, when I’m with both my parents, and the servers ask if there will be one check or two.

    I would like to invite you to stop by The Lit Pub today, where our goal is to talk about books we love, but where we also talk about issues like this. Today, my post is about my adoption, about mother-loss and daughter-loss. I hope you will consider visiting our site. We just launched this past Wednesday, but we want to become a place where people with shared experiences can come talk and share with each other. I would love if you came and shared your experiences with me and with our readers.


    P.S. Today’s post is here:

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