Speaking of sex

Yep, that’s the plan.  I bought and read the book The New Speaking of Sex: What Your Children Need to Know and When They Need to Know It by Meg Hickling, R.N. after reading about it on Mama D’s blog.  Up until recently, we’ve referring to the genitals as girl and boy parts, something we picked up from our pediatrician.  I had thought that this was specific enough for BB’s age and I didn’t want to hear about my v*gina at the park.  However, I’ve changed my tune after learning that children who know scientific language regarding sex are more abuse resistant.  The most compelling part of this book for me was reading what Hickling said about her prison visits with sex offenders.

One thing offenders know is that children do not learn scientific vocabulary from watching Sesame Street or any other educational show for children.  If a child know appropriate sexual vocabulary, the offender knows that some enlightened adult, usually the parent, has taught them.  The offender also knows that in the very teaching the adult has said, ‘this is an acceptable topic for us to talk about.  You are allowed, even encouraged, to know about your body.’  Because these children  know that it’s okay to discuss sex with their mom and dad, they are far more likely to tell their parents if someone tries to take advantage of them. 

This is why sexually intrusive people will almost always choose a victim who knows nothing and hence, will not tell either.  The silence on the part of the parent has become a powerful message not to talk about it.  ~ Meg Hickling, R.N.

That’s my main reason for now.  There are other safety reasons for the long-range plan.  Teens and young adults who are brought up by sexually mature adults, those who talk openly and factually about sex and sexual health, are less likely to become sexually active before they are ready, develop STDs, become pregnant before ready, or be sexually exploited or exploit others. They are also more likely to follow their parents’ values regarding sexual issues.

After learning this, it just seems obvious.  We do our best to protect BB in so many other ways.  Why wouldn’t we be doing this?

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5 Responses

  1. I must confess… I am a huge prude. It took a lot for me to use the proper scientific terminology with our Tongginator. But I did it. For exactly this reason.

  2. I totally agree. I am also very much against giving non family members titles such as “aunt, uncle, cousin” Stats prove that children who are abused are much less likely to report a “family member” than a stranger. My daughter calls her vagina her “front tooshy” but we’re working on it. We have no woo-woo’s or wee-wee’s in this house.

  3. Thanks for the shout out. I must warn you, however, that BB may want to educate the world now that she’s in the know. Our Blonde tries occasionally; and we remind her that it’s a “private conversation” that people have at home.

  4. Great resource and post. Thanks! Will be picking this one up.

  5. I wholeheartedly agree. “What isn’t talked about can hurt you” is a phrase that has been repeated by counseling professionals, and it’s no more true than in this situation.

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