Many “no”s = parenting failure

Recently someone said to me regarding parenting,

do you ever feel like all you ever do is say, “no”?

I suspected that she hears many parents repeating “no” and perhaps me this day.  And I know many parents complain that it’s all they seem to say, so maybe she’s heard that complaint.  Anyway, the question really got me thinking.  I like that.

My answer was, yes.  There are times like that.  And when it happens I regard it as a failure in my parenting.  It’s a sign to me that something isn’t working and I need to find another way.  This is interesting, as I feel as though BB and I are going through a time like this right now.  I suspect she’s making a developmental shift (aka seismic leap) and I’m having trouble making the jump.  In other words, she’s on to me and my old ways aren’t working anymore.  Well, I refuse to be outdone by my nearly 3-year-old.  Not for long anyway.  During these seismic leaps, I know she’s got me.  The thing is, I’m not happy and she’s not happy.  Who wants to hear “no” all the time and who wants to say it?  I gotta get ahead again.  And, Baby, I will.  I give you another promise, our life will not be filled with “no”s.  I will try to save “no”s for the big stuff and keep our lives focused on the positive.

Update: Since I originally wrote this draft a few days ago, things have improved in The House of Bing and I’m hearing less “no”s from me.  Still, I think it’s time to for a refresher read of my favorite parenting book to date – Parenting with Love and Logic.  Only because of that seismic leap I was talking about.  I suspect The Bing is ready for some older kid stuff and I gotta catch up.

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3 Responses

  1. Great post and good timing for me, thanks! Actually just purchased the book as my A is doing a lot of testing and I am finding myself being very testy.

  2. We get it here! We know exactly what those days are like. And we know too that when it is the only thing comign out of our mouths that something is going on and we need to make a change.

  3. Glad that I could get you thinking. 🙂 You’ll definetly figure another way (and then another for the next developmental leap and another…) Love that you’re not going to be out done by almost 3 yr old – and how did she become almost 3? Wasn’t it just last month or so when she was turning 1?? 🙂

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