I love the mystery

I’ve been thinking about something.  I hear bio-parents say cool things about their kids looking like them.  How they take after Grandma or have mommy’s smile and daddy’s eyes and I think it’s truly awesome.  Obviously, we don’t think of those things with The Bing.  But, I think about something else when I look at my girl – the mystery – and I love it.  I look at her with wonder… who are you?  Who are you becoming? 

I view all parenting as an awesome responsiblity in which you guide your child into becoming whoever they are and it’s an incredible thing to watch them unfold into whoever they may be.  But when they came from you, there is less mystery and I think you’re more likely to put them in a box.  “Yup, that’s just like Uncle Joe!” and slowly little Steve becomes more like Uncle Joe – good or bad.  Mommy prefers apple pie to peach pie and everyone tells little Susie she’s just like Mommy.  Guess what kind of pie Susie loves?  Or maybe hates, when she goes through her rebellious stage.  We have no template, no box to put her in.  She’s a mystery and I love watching her bloom.  Sometimes at night I sing,

Twinkle, twinkle little star,

How I wonder what you are?

, and I think of her.  Who are you, my little star?  And I can’t wait for another day to find out more to the mystery.

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5 Responses

  1. It’s a beautiful thought. I think about that peculiar brand of mystery a lot too. It’s something that only we adoptive parents get to experience, and it’s a wonderful gift.

  2. I also love the mystery!!! My children surprise me every day. Lovely post.

  3. Me too! I just look at M’s profile, her funny faces, etc and wonder who she looks like more and if I would be able to pick them out of a crowd.
    Her personality is a mixture of sorts now that she has been here two years, a bit of Daddy, a bit of me (hubby says a lot of me lol), some of her foster mother (we talk to her and she has some of her sense of humor) and the unknown–that wonderful mystery. Her birthparents must be a crack up!

  4. From the other side of the coin, as an adoptee there is the mystery too. I can look at my father and know, “Well I may have a stubborn streak but since it’s not inherited it can’t be like my father’s!” As I grow older (and less mature!) I am less of what my adoptive parents taught me and more of what works for me. In some ways I’d like to know more of my biological’s family identity but on the other hand, not knowing things gives me a certain freedom too…… if that makes any sense at all!

  5. I also follow that line of thought quite often myself…a most fascinating mystery, indeed!

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