Wait fatigue

After hearing rumors that when CCAA pulls dossiers in the review room for additional questions they aren’t putting them back with their original LID pile we thought we better check it out. CCAA did ask additional questions of us months ago. We got them what they wanted and we’ve waited. When we heard these rumors I contacted our agency, who contacted CCAA on our behalf. CCAA actually updated them on our situation, something CCAI says they don’t always do. The news is good and bad. The good news is… we will be referred a child. As those in waiting know, there are no guarantees in this. We all just wait. No news tends to be good news, but overall you don’t hear anything until you get the referral call or, in rare cases, CCAA has not accepted you and your told you won’t be getting a child. So, we do have that answer. CCAA has accepted us. The bad news is… our dossier was not put back with the other October 31, 2005 dossiers. We’re now somewhere in December 2005 ~ a month or more behind. We’ve been bumped.

According to our agency, the wait time from LID to referral is 16-17 months for those with LIDs at the end of October. That makes for a referral in March 2007. I’ve been waiting a loooooooooooooooooong time for predictions on our LID, but guess what? We’re not there yet. But, I’m guessing that the wait will be another 1-3 months or between April and June. That’s 5 to 7 months from now. Less than 6 to 8 months, I know, I know.
I have to admit, I haven’t been handling the waiting well lately. Up until awhile I was taking it in stride, I think. But now I’m just feeling old. I’ve never been more age conscious than I’ve been since starting this adoption. When we began this process I was 39. I knew I wouldn’t become a mom until I was 40, but I did have this hope that the kidlet would be born while I was 39. Don’t know why. It’s dumb. It’s just a number, but it was important to me. That hope is gone. I’ll be 41 in January. I’ve been very aware of my aches and pains and lately there have been many. I’ve recently been diagnosed with arthritis in my back and I’ve been having pain related to that, plus my 20+ year-old headache has gotten harder to control. So I think,… what am I doing? I’m gonna be an old decrepit mom. As another waiting to adopt mother put it on a forum, I’ll just strap Kidlet to my walker in the Baby Bjorn and we’ll wander down to the dining hall at the home!

Okay, news out. Whining over.


5 Responses

  1. Hang in there. Kidlet will keep you young, not make you feel older. :-)April

  2. I hear you Cavatica! I keep hearing the “biological clock” ticking and ticking. I feel like that comic strip persona “Cathy”! You’re right…. nothing bothered me when I was 39….. 40 seemed a million years away but now when I go to select an age group on a poll or something I am in the 40’s! Now I look at anti-wrinkle cream instead of tanning lotions. I think about what I can physically do versus I can do whatever I want!I just want to know, Who flipped the hourglass?

  3. This completely sucks, so whine away, baby! Hopefully things will speed up and your turn will be here quickly.

  4. Hi, Cavatica
    !You can definitely add a link to my blog. Do you mind if I link yours, too??:) Aimee

  5. Cavatica,I’m bummed for you! The wait is excruciating without the bumping!I feel your wait pain (that was me with the wisecrack about the walker).Hangin’ in with you….

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